Living As A Single Guy in God's Kingdom (X/XII)

Don't worry, I am not about to tackle this one. I can give my thoughts on what we ladies might like you guys to hear, but when it comes to living as a single guy, well, that's where I plead the 5th. It's about time this blog had a break from my thoughts and words, anyway.

Enter: Matt Snyder. A friend of mine, a male, a fellow writer and believer. And up until recently a fellow journeyman in the life of singlehood. I am grateful for his willingness to share his thoughts. Thank you, Matt! 

Gentleman (and ladies), Erin Flew the Coop is honored to present you his writings on living as a single guy in God's Kingdom...


When I was a boy, I remember dreaming about my wedding day. I’m a grown man now, so I’m not afraid to admit it, but I would oftentimes fall asleep at night daydreaming about what my wife would look like, where we would live, what we would do for a living, and more. This happened well into my mid-twenties.

Sometimes I felt like my life paralleled the Genesis account of creation: God made Adam, gave him some specific instructions about living in the Garden, and then gave him the enormous task of naming all of the animals… by himself.

Replace the “Garden” with “my parents’ house” and “naming all of the animals” with “trying to determine the will of God” and you have my life.

It was hard as a geeky twenty-something, seeing my friends get married, and wondering wedding after wedding when it would be my turn. I always thought I’d be married by the time I was 23. Instead, I was 25, single and always on the prowl. Why, yes, I was a wife-hunter.

I dated some pretty amazing girls in the interim but despite all of my attempts to honor them and pursue them with character and integrity, none of them saw me fit to perform that task for a lifetime. I had a gaping hole in my side made just for my wife and it seemed like nobody wanted to fill that void.

I finally gave up. It’s probably not the most charming thing female readers want to hear, but it’s true.

I heeded Paul’s advice in Philippians 4:12 and sought contentment in the midst of my self-perceived “circumstance” of not having a wife. I decided that I’d use my time without a significant other pursuing His peace and more of His Presence.  Even more, I used my singleness as an opportunity to greater pursue the things that the Lord was putting on my heart (fighting human trafficking at home and abroad) and encouraging those around me.

It was amazing how alive I became. I no longer was thinking about “who” I didn’t have beside me, and Who I really did. The Lord encouraged and grew me into a bigger man during that season and I will never regret it. 

And you know what happened when I stopped looking? She came.

At the time of writing this, I’ve been married for seven weeks to the day. Five years after I thought I would get married, I finally did. 

And you know how I found her? I found her through pursuing the Lord’s heart first and chasing the passion that He placed inside of me. There’s nothing more fulfilling than knowing the one you were made for has your same passions. But you’ll only find her if you actually pursue them.

I think if I had any advice for the single guys (and gals) out there, it would be to stop pursuing the relationship you don’t have and pursue the relationship with the One that you do. What better place to unlock your heart and unearth another’s than in the hands of the One who fashioned them? 

If you have the desire for marriage, the Lord will not allow it to go unfulfilled. Men, the time will come when He’ll petition you to pursue her. Women, the time will come when He’ll encourage you to receive the pursuit. Until then, chase your dreams.

-Matt Snyder