I went to the library today in search of a few books (duh). After a rather unfruitful hunt, I sat down to continue my current read, Radical, by David Platt. It's such a good book, but I just couldn't focus. There were too many things running through my head. And it was too quiet there. I needed some stimulation. Something in pace with my brain so all these thoughts could come out instead of getting lost in the silence of the library.
Naturally, I went across the street to Starbucks. While searching my car for a pen (it never fails that when I change purses, I forget to transfer something of great importance), I happened across a Starbucks gift card. Certain it had no charge on it, yet hopeful I wouldn't have to scrounge together enough change for a cup of tea, I decided to give it a go. Ladies and gentlemen, that little plastic goodness was loaded with 10 bucks! Thank you to whomever gave it go me. May you be blessed with a life full of caffeinated beverages. The tea must still be coursing through my veins...I'm losing track...
So, I opened up my brainstorming notebook, which I had conveniently remembered to grab just before I pulled out of the driveway. I stuck my earbuds firmly in my ears, Brooke Fraser and Needtobreathe (who else?) pounding through the tiny speakers. My pencil - there was no pen to be found in my car - firmly in hand, and I began to dream. Dream BIG. I let it all loose. Formulating ideas, jotting down visions from years past, passions, desires. All of it interweaving in some great stream of chaos. I'm sure those around me could have glanced at my face and wondered at its contortions more than a few times. But I continued to write, attempting to piece together some semblance of order to my thoughts. To gain some knowledge as to the purpose of my history, my experiences, that have all brought me here, to this place, in this moment.
The afternoon was glorious. Intertwining Scripture and lyrics and thoughts. I felt like an author or songwriter or artist on a mission. I'm not sure if any of what I wrote down would make sense to anyone. Well, to be honest, it probably would. But I'm not going to share it. Not yet anyway. I'm praying you'll get to see the fruits of my purging session soon. For now, I've just told you about it, an effort to hold me accountable in a way. The brainstorming did happen. Something will come to fruition. I dreamed big. And I believe in the God who gave me these dreams.