Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Countdown Has Begun...

Ladies and Gentleman, two weeks from tomorrow I embark on my journey around the world.  I am experiencing myriad emotions as the departure date approaches.  I can now officially say that someone can feel entirely contradictory emotions at just about any given moment, if not every moment.  Excitement, trepidation, peace, joy, sadness, eagerness.  In my opinion, the journey has already begun.  

I've begun to say goodbye to friends and coworkers.  I've begun the process of packing up my Charlotte life.  A part of me has already begun to wonder what life will look like upon my return...and I haven't even left!  It's a new experience for me.  Other times of my life a move has been normal, expected.  Moving with my family.  Moving to go to school.  Moving for a job.  This time, however, it's none of those reason.  This time I'm in search of answers to questions, some of which I can't yet name.  Questions that nag at the soul until they become louder than the routine of life.  Questions that demand change and exploration.  I'm not sure what the answers will look like, but that's part of the joy.  Whatever semblance they may have, I pray I will find them on this journey.  Or that they find me.  

I leave you with some lines from Needtobreathe's song "Through Smoke."  They speak of something stirring in my soul.

"Before the truth will come to fill our eyes
The wool comes down in the form of fire
And when the answers and the truth have cut their ties
Will you still find me
Will you still see me through smoke...
Who do you believe when you can't get through
When everything you know seems so untrue
When I'm lost in a place that I thought I knew
Give me some way that I might find you"

Well then, 14 days and counting!