But I sense the dam is breaking. So while there may have only been a trickling of posts so far this year, that may be changing as I begin to let it flow.
I've realized something (again) the past few months.
Whether that be journaling, blogging, whatever. There are simply too many thoughts roaming around this little INFJ brain. It's frustrating sometimes. To have a mind of silence is an experience as foreign to me as walking into a men's restroom (although, this has admittedly happened once to me).
Due to this constant churning inside my head, I often find it hard to stay focused. One thought will lead to another and another and another until I shake my head and retrace my steps to the initial thought that once occupied space in my brain.
It's particularly frustrating when I do this when I'm praying. Almost instantly the fishing reel has to come out and pull me back once, twice, twenty times until I surrender my weak focus at the feet of Jesus and beg for mercy.
It happens often, and I don't sense it getting better. I'd imagine others struggle with this challenge of remaining focused during prayer, too.
The other day I was running and trying to keep focused in thought, much less prayer, and found myself running down a gagillion rabbit trails (and on really bad days, I find myself on the dreaded gerbil wheel!). I thought, wouldn't it be so cool to focus on and think about one glorious attribute of God while running?
And then I almost laughed at the thought of me even trying. It seemed like an unholy injustice. But maybe that's how I start?
Try and fail. Train. Repeat. Try and fail. Train. Repeat.
So, you focussed prayers you, I need your help! Please share with me your thoughts, experiences, and wisdom regarding focused prayer. I love to read, so if you know a good book, I'd be open to that too. (Does The Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster talk about this? It's been so long since I've read it, I can't remember…a trillion and one thoughts have crossed the threshold of my brain since then.)
As Paul says in 1 Timothy 4:7-8, "Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come."
I'm in need of some serious training. I have full confidence this can be conquered (by the grace of God).
I'd just love to know how.
Have you ever experienced rabbit trail praying?
How have you disciplined your mind to remain focused?