There is a large part of me that hasn't wanted to write this blog...for a long time. It's been brewing for months, believe me. I've wanted more clarity, more organization to my thoughts. But God won't let me let it go. The word "obedience" is coming up everywhere - my thoughts, Scripture, facebook posts, sermons, songs. The time has come to get my thoughts out there, so bear with me. Caution: this may take more than one posting; I will do my best to make it worth your time.
In all actuality, my pondering of obedience and God really began in 2008. My coworkers at the time and close friends will tell you I fought a hard war all over my hands with warts. Holy cow, they are stubborn little devils. What started as one quickly turned into more than 30 in little clusters all over the fingers on both of my hands. Thinking back, I can remember trying to hide them. They were a huge source of embarrassment and self-consciousness. Sitting in church, I'd fold my hands in certain ways so people couldn't see them. I'd keep my hands in my pockets or fold my arms when in conversation. I tried several things to get rid of them. I should have bought stock in Dr. Scholl's wart remover. I used duct tape like it was going out of style. I had them frozen by a dermatologist. I had them surgically removed and burned until my hands looked like a bloody war zone. And they grew back. Every time. I began to research medical reasons - vitamin deficiencies, chronic dry hands, soap chemicals, etc. Nothing seemed to make a difference. I eventually began to think that maybe God was trying to tell me something and until I listened, the warts would remain entrenched in my skin. Like there was an area of disobedience that was causing them to remain. Finally I read that my body needed to recognize the wart cells as foreign and that attempting to kill them all at once would be overwhelming and unsuccessful. The key was to target one, blast it, get it to go away completely, then hit another one, until the body gets the idea that it's foreign and bad, and then it will take on the fight itself. It worked! It was amazing. After years of treatments and money, it took two weeks to conquer the first one, then they all disappeared. Every single one of them.
How does that relate to obedience? I think we can get overwhelmed with so many areas in our lives that we want to see change happen that nothing we do works. If we are able to focus on a spot or two, really dig in and seek change, the momentum will move on to those other areas. It's starting with the small things. Little steps. Just like a parent does with a child. A child isn't taught all areas of discipline at one time. That would be too overwhelming. A set up for failure even. It's really a process. Growth. Obeying once leads to obeying again. The level of trust increases as the child demonstrates their ability and willingness to obey.
And as I was telling a friend last week, obedience sure does feel good. It just feels right. And you can't be neutral. You're either obedient or you're not. There's no halfway. If you're asked to take out the trash and you take it halfway down the driveway, you weren't obedient. In the same way, if God tells you to stop and say hello to someone you've never met before, and you pretend you don't hear the prompt, you weren't obedient. Being in a place where you can't hear or see doesn't make you more obedient - you're just blind to what He's asking. And I've experienced firsthand how disobedience hurts. We all have.
Sometimes I find myself asking, how do I know it was God that spoke that to me instead of just me thinking it? Does it matter? If it's a good thing, if it's beneficial, isn't it better to have done it and it be of me than to not have done something God was asking? It goes back to trusting Him. I am currently reading through the book of Daniel. Man, that guy trusted. Can you imagine finding yourself being thrown into a den full of ravenous lions and completely trusting that God will care for you? But life feels like that sometimes, doesn't it? A den full of ravenous lions. And we're expected to trust and obey. Easier said than done, eh? But it's steps. One leads to another. God is a lamp unto our feet (Psalm 119:105). He didn't say He was a lamp a mile ahead on the road. He's the lamp at our feet. Guiding the next step. And then the next one. No wonder obedience feels good. It's us walking down the right path. The guided path. The steps may be so small at times we wonder if we're getting anywhere, but if we're listening to our Father, really listening, He's got us right where He wants us.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
What a Relief!
Goodness gravy, I about tackled an 83-year-old man today. Just out of the sheer joy of seeing him again. Peter, my favorite regular at the bakery (I'm not ashamed, everyone knows it), and a man who I call my friend (read more about him here and here) has not come in to the bakery for several weeks now. I have been worried sick. I've asked every one of the other mall walkers if they've seen him, I've asked all of my coworkers if they have. I've even had some of my blog readers ask about him. No one has seen him or heard from him. I knew the Brit had a trip to his homeland planned for this fall, but I knew it wasn't this early. Something had happened. I could just sense it. I have prayed for him often, wondering what was keeping him from his daily morning walk through the halls of the mall and his cup of Columbian coffee with a splash of cream. Of course my mind went to a million different reasons, but I kept telling myself that his good friend who looks after him surely would have let me know if something serious had happened, or (ack!) if he had died. She just would.
So today I was helping a customer and out of the corner of my eye I see an elderly man walk in in a suit coat and dress pants. He slowly walks up to the coffee bar, his back to me, and starts getting out his wallet - an action he's done a million times before. It's Peter!! The familiarity of this scene hits me and I mumble something to the customer as I race across the bar to embrace Peter. I exclaim his name as I hug the heck out of the frail trembling man. He proceeds to tell me about his three week stay in the hospital with pneumonia, being released, then readmitted because he lost 30 pounds in a week. Boy could I see it. He was so frail. So much the same Peter he always has been, yet different. He couldn't hide his exhaustion. His hand shook when he brought the cup of coffee up to his mouth. He had walked from Nordstrom to our store and needed to sit. Usually this man walks two miles with hardly breaking a sweat. He said he had come to the mall the day before to run an errand, but waited until today to come to the bakery because he knew I would be there today. Ugh, it melted my heart. After fixing his coffee the way that he always does, he made his way to the couch to regain his strength before making the trek back home. It brought me such joy to sit with him, hear all about the past several weeks, share with him how much of a scare he gave me, and let him know that he must call me if he has a need for anything. I hugged him again just before he left, receiving a kiss on the cheek.
I'm so glad to have Peter back home. My how I've missed him.
So today I was helping a customer and out of the corner of my eye I see an elderly man walk in in a suit coat and dress pants. He slowly walks up to the coffee bar, his back to me, and starts getting out his wallet - an action he's done a million times before. It's Peter!! The familiarity of this scene hits me and I mumble something to the customer as I race across the bar to embrace Peter. I exclaim his name as I hug the heck out of the frail trembling man. He proceeds to tell me about his three week stay in the hospital with pneumonia, being released, then readmitted because he lost 30 pounds in a week. Boy could I see it. He was so frail. So much the same Peter he always has been, yet different. He couldn't hide his exhaustion. His hand shook when he brought the cup of coffee up to his mouth. He had walked from Nordstrom to our store and needed to sit. Usually this man walks two miles with hardly breaking a sweat. He said he had come to the mall the day before to run an errand, but waited until today to come to the bakery because he knew I would be there today. Ugh, it melted my heart. After fixing his coffee the way that he always does, he made his way to the couch to regain his strength before making the trek back home. It brought me such joy to sit with him, hear all about the past several weeks, share with him how much of a scare he gave me, and let him know that he must call me if he has a need for anything. I hugged him again just before he left, receiving a kiss on the cheek.
I'm so glad to have Peter back home. My how I've missed him.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Acorn Dreams
This past weekend I had the opportunity to relax and refresh with my fellow youth group leaders at the Simpsonwood Lodge. The beautiful retreat center just outside Atlanta is nestled in miles of wooded land. Turning into the driveway, I could sense my sprit coming alive as I drove past tree after tree. Friday night we ventured into the woods for a bonfire complete with worship, prayer time, and ending with S'mores (of course!). It was truly an amazing time. God must have thought so too as He showed up with rumbles of thunder and flashes of lightening nearby as we sang and prayed. The Holy Spirit was definitely moving in our midst.
As amazing as that was, it wasn't my favorite part of the weekend (it was a close second, with a Spoons marathon coming in at 3rd). First place slot goes to Saturday afternoon. Setting: the Prayer Labyrinth. Characters: me and God. Plot: acorn dreams. Let me elaborate...
We had a few hours of free time, and I knew right away I wanted to check out this place. I set out with my Bible, journal, and trusty ipod. Walking up to the Labyrinth reminded me of my favorite place in the botanic gardens in Christchurch, New Zealand. My heart instantly began to beat faster. There's just something about walking with God in nature - it's like that's how it was supposed to be or something (oh, to be in Eden!). I took off my shoes, let the music begin to flow, and began walking through the maze. Partway into it I looked down and saw an acorn. A perfect acorn. It stood out because it was shiny and colorful, unlike the gray rocks, dirt, and fallen leaves amongst my bare feet. It was like a treasure. I knelt down and picked it up, turning it over in my fingers. It took on the symbolism of a dream. A dream you or I would have in life. The walk of the Labyrinth is life. We follow the twists and turns, sometimes able to see ahead, sometimes longing to look back, but only present in the steps we are taking right at that moment. Along the path are twigs and branches, things that may trip us up, but then there are also acorns. Seeds, implying life and growth, which will one day become oaks. I continued walking, thinking about what my dream in life would be. Then I happened along another one. I picked it up to join the first one in my hands. I pondered another dream that God has given me. As I continued to slowly walk, I saw how these acorns, these dreams, cannot remain in my own hands. If they do, they will never survive. On my own I don't have the ability to give them life. Only God can water them with living water. Only He can provide the ground in which to grow them. If I kept them, they would die.
But why does God give us these acorn dreams along our path if we can't keep them? I think because He desires for us to pick them up, hold them awhile, create a space in our heart for them, then give them back for Him to plant. They give us glimpses of what to long for, what to turn our eyes and ears toward. But they are His to have. He plants them in due time. He waters them with His eternal water. He grows them. And then He brings them into our lives again at some point. But only if we give them to Him...completely.
So I walked with these two acorn dreams for awhile, through cool shady spots and hot sunny spots, continuing to slowly make my way to the center as I let my thoughts rest on the acorns. There was a little basket holding written prayers of others nestled amongst some rocks in the middle. I sensed it was time. It was time for me to release the acorns, to let them fall into the basket, out of my hands and into God's, releasing them to the One whom I trust more than any other. To the One who holds my heart. I let them drop with a sense of peace. Trusting that their presence along my path wasn't an accident. Trusting that one day "[t]hey will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor" (Isaiah 61:3, NIV). I am eager to see how he grows these little acorns and brings them back into my life!
What are your acorn dreams? Are you holding onto them?
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Dream. B-I-G.
I went to the library today in search of a few books (duh). After a rather unfruitful hunt, I sat down to continue my current read, Radical, by David Platt. It's such a good book, but I just couldn't focus. There were too many things running through my head. And it was too quiet there. I needed some stimulation. Something in pace with my brain so all these thoughts could come out instead of getting lost in the silence of the library.
Naturally, I went across the street to Starbucks. While searching my car for a pen (it never fails that when I change purses, I forget to transfer something of great importance), I happened across a Starbucks gift card. Certain it had no charge on it, yet hopeful I wouldn't have to scrounge together enough change for a cup of tea, I decided to give it a go. Ladies and gentlemen, that little plastic goodness was loaded with 10 bucks! Thank you to whomever gave it go me. May you be blessed with a life full of caffeinated beverages. The tea must still be coursing through my veins...I'm losing track...
So, I opened up my brainstorming notebook, which I had conveniently remembered to grab just before I pulled out of the driveway. I stuck my earbuds firmly in my ears, Brooke Fraser and Needtobreathe (who else?) pounding through the tiny speakers. My pencil - there was no pen to be found in my car - firmly in hand, and I began to dream. Dream BIG. I let it all loose. Formulating ideas, jotting down visions from years past, passions, desires. All of it interweaving in some great stream of chaos. I'm sure those around me could have glanced at my face and wondered at its contortions more than a few times. But I continued to write, attempting to piece together some semblance of order to my thoughts. To gain some knowledge as to the purpose of my history, my experiences, that have all brought me here, to this place, in this moment.
The afternoon was glorious. Intertwining Scripture and lyrics and thoughts. I felt like an author or songwriter or artist on a mission. I'm not sure if any of what I wrote down would make sense to anyone. Well, to be honest, it probably would. But I'm not going to share it. Not yet anyway. I'm praying you'll get to see the fruits of my purging session soon. For now, I've just told you about it, an effort to hold me accountable in a way. The brainstorming did happen. Something will come to fruition. I dreamed big. And I believe in the God who gave me these dreams.
Naturally, I went across the street to Starbucks. While searching my car for a pen (it never fails that when I change purses, I forget to transfer something of great importance), I happened across a Starbucks gift card. Certain it had no charge on it, yet hopeful I wouldn't have to scrounge together enough change for a cup of tea, I decided to give it a go. Ladies and gentlemen, that little plastic goodness was loaded with 10 bucks! Thank you to whomever gave it go me. May you be blessed with a life full of caffeinated beverages. The tea must still be coursing through my veins...I'm losing track...
So, I opened up my brainstorming notebook, which I had conveniently remembered to grab just before I pulled out of the driveway. I stuck my earbuds firmly in my ears, Brooke Fraser and Needtobreathe (who else?) pounding through the tiny speakers. My pencil - there was no pen to be found in my car - firmly in hand, and I began to dream. Dream BIG. I let it all loose. Formulating ideas, jotting down visions from years past, passions, desires. All of it interweaving in some great stream of chaos. I'm sure those around me could have glanced at my face and wondered at its contortions more than a few times. But I continued to write, attempting to piece together some semblance of order to my thoughts. To gain some knowledge as to the purpose of my history, my experiences, that have all brought me here, to this place, in this moment.
The afternoon was glorious. Intertwining Scripture and lyrics and thoughts. I felt like an author or songwriter or artist on a mission. I'm not sure if any of what I wrote down would make sense to anyone. Well, to be honest, it probably would. But I'm not going to share it. Not yet anyway. I'm praying you'll get to see the fruits of my purging session soon. For now, I've just told you about it, an effort to hold me accountable in a way. The brainstorming did happen. Something will come to fruition. I dreamed big. And I believe in the God who gave me these dreams.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
T.r.u.s.t.
Alright, it's time for me to stop reading everyone else's blog and post to my own. Any other bloggers out there who've ever felt the push to blog about something but for whatever reason try to avoid it? Sheesh, that's not like any other area of my life at all....(if you didn't catch the sarcasm, you can soon read more on how I like to avoid giving attention in my life to where it's needed most and the lovely aftermath that results in...whenever I do get around to blogging about it). This morning's distraction? Max Dubinsky's writings about "the relentless truth of life, and the honesty of creativity; nonreligious views from a man who is mad about God's unconditional love." Beware, you might kiss your productivity goodbye as you pour over his words like I did. And then you might just become a fan on Facebook. And if you're really gutsy, you'll follow him on Twitter. But don't worry, I won't call you a copycat.
As for today, I'm finally giving proper attention to a curious little five-letter word that is currently wrecking me. T-r-u-s-t. Yup. It's pretty simple isn't it? You trust your bed to keep you warm at night. You trust your coffee to properly wake you up in the morning. You even trust your car to happily take you from place to place without protesting.
But do you trust God? Do you trust Him enough to give up yourself, your life? Give up everything you've wanted, everything you are. To trust Him. Because that's what He requires. See, the more I press into Him and spend time with Him, the more I understand what being a Christian really isn't. It's not attending church every Sunday, accepting Jesus into my life, listening to Christian music, and turning to Him only when life gets tough. It's a day in day out submission to His will. It's living for Him. Not me. Nowhere in this does it include my desires. My plans. My wants. But oh it is so. much. more!
All I have to do is say goodbye to a comfortable little home filled with a husband and kids, the constant smell of baked goods wafting from the kitchen, and the cozy little glow coming from the fireplace we're all sitting around. Easy, right?...Right? I'd like to say yes, but in all honesty, it's not that easy. It's not that easy to give up dreams you feel are woven into the very fabric of your DNA. Desires that have been around for as long as you've been playing dress up and house (or, in the guys' case, micro machines and legos.) It's everything you've imagined, everything you thought you were created for, sacrificing it all for the sake of bringing glory to the name of my Saviour.
All He's asking me to do is trust. Trust that His plans are bigger than mine. Trust that His plans for me are for good and not for evil. Trust that He will direct my paths, if only I seek Him. His Letter to me is filled with this promise. The desire to get me to see what a life lived with him really is. Here are just a few samples:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil." (Proverbs 3:5-7, NIV)
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped." (Psalm 28:7, NIV)
"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say 'You are my God.' My times are in your hands." (Psalm 31:14-15a, NIV)
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13, NIV)
"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken...[t]rust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him for God is our refuge." (Psalm 62:1-2, 8, NIV)
And you know what happens when we do? We see how His love is better than life! He gives us "his great and very precious promises, so that through them [we] may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires" (2 Peter 1:4, NIV). We are more than conquerors through His love, and nothing can ever separate us from Him (Romans 8: 37-38). We just have to trust Him. With everything we've got. Giving up everything we've got.
Why have I been wrecked by this? Well, for one I've recently left my job at the bakery (for reasons I will explain in a private message to you, just not in this blog). It was time. I'd lived in stagnancy long enough. So I once again find myself in a place of questioning what the heck I am doing on this earth. I've helped deliver babies. I've traveled the world. I've brewed countless cups of coffee and decorated cookies and cakes. I have a passion for baking. A passion for writing. A passion for Jesus. And telling people about Him, particularly students. It is one crazy ride. I have yet to see how it all ties together, but I trust. I'm challenged with it every day I wake up. It's a choice I have. I don't have to trust, but let's face it, the alternative to trusting God would be trusting myself, and when has that ever seemed like a good idea? So I literally wake up every day and claim God's truths, which give me the confidence to trust. He's concocting something fantastic up there, something greater than I could conjure up on my own. And that's the point. If it was up to me, my life could maybe be good, nothing fantastic, and certainly not anything that would point to God. But when I trust Him with all of me, well, then I leave Him room to come in and supernaturally work in my life, ultimately bringing Him glory. His fingerprints need to be all over my life for anyone to see it's not of me.
And since this life isn't about me, well, I'm trusting Him.
As for today, I'm finally giving proper attention to a curious little five-letter word that is currently wrecking me. T-r-u-s-t. Yup. It's pretty simple isn't it? You trust your bed to keep you warm at night. You trust your coffee to properly wake you up in the morning. You even trust your car to happily take you from place to place without protesting.
But do you trust God? Do you trust Him enough to give up yourself, your life? Give up everything you've wanted, everything you are. To trust Him. Because that's what He requires. See, the more I press into Him and spend time with Him, the more I understand what being a Christian really isn't. It's not attending church every Sunday, accepting Jesus into my life, listening to Christian music, and turning to Him only when life gets tough. It's a day in day out submission to His will. It's living for Him. Not me. Nowhere in this does it include my desires. My plans. My wants. But oh it is so. much. more!
All I have to do is say goodbye to a comfortable little home filled with a husband and kids, the constant smell of baked goods wafting from the kitchen, and the cozy little glow coming from the fireplace we're all sitting around. Easy, right?...Right? I'd like to say yes, but in all honesty, it's not that easy. It's not that easy to give up dreams you feel are woven into the very fabric of your DNA. Desires that have been around for as long as you've been playing dress up and house (or, in the guys' case, micro machines and legos.) It's everything you've imagined, everything you thought you were created for, sacrificing it all for the sake of bringing glory to the name of my Saviour.
All He's asking me to do is trust. Trust that His plans are bigger than mine. Trust that His plans for me are for good and not for evil. Trust that He will direct my paths, if only I seek Him. His Letter to me is filled with this promise. The desire to get me to see what a life lived with him really is. Here are just a few samples:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil." (Proverbs 3:5-7, NIV)
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped." (Psalm 28:7, NIV)
"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say 'You are my God.' My times are in your hands." (Psalm 31:14-15a, NIV)
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13, NIV)
"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken...[t]rust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him for God is our refuge." (Psalm 62:1-2, 8, NIV)
And you know what happens when we do? We see how His love is better than life! He gives us "his great and very precious promises, so that through them [we] may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires" (2 Peter 1:4, NIV). We are more than conquerors through His love, and nothing can ever separate us from Him (Romans 8: 37-38). We just have to trust Him. With everything we've got. Giving up everything we've got.
Why have I been wrecked by this? Well, for one I've recently left my job at the bakery (for reasons I will explain in a private message to you, just not in this blog). It was time. I'd lived in stagnancy long enough. So I once again find myself in a place of questioning what the heck I am doing on this earth. I've helped deliver babies. I've traveled the world. I've brewed countless cups of coffee and decorated cookies and cakes. I have a passion for baking. A passion for writing. A passion for Jesus. And telling people about Him, particularly students. It is one crazy ride. I have yet to see how it all ties together, but I trust. I'm challenged with it every day I wake up. It's a choice I have. I don't have to trust, but let's face it, the alternative to trusting God would be trusting myself, and when has that ever seemed like a good idea? So I literally wake up every day and claim God's truths, which give me the confidence to trust. He's concocting something fantastic up there, something greater than I could conjure up on my own. And that's the point. If it was up to me, my life could maybe be good, nothing fantastic, and certainly not anything that would point to God. But when I trust Him with all of me, well, then I leave Him room to come in and supernaturally work in my life, ultimately bringing Him glory. His fingerprints need to be all over my life for anyone to see it's not of me.
And since this life isn't about me, well, I'm trusting Him.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Home
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
-Nelson Mandela
I first read this great quote years ago but was reminded of it again last Thursday. My brother, sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew, and I were traveling (all in one minivan!) to South Dakota to surprise our Grandma Jucht for her 80th birthday. Our trek across country had gone quite well so we found ourselves a bit ahead of schedule. After 20 hours in the van we were hungry, to say the least, and happened to be passing the exit for our hometown, Vermillion. We decided to take the exit and pick up a Pizza Hut pizza to devour in Prentis Park. (Both hugely nostalgic points of interest.) It instantly felt familiar. The feel of the grass between my toes, the warm wind on my face, the dandelions, the bugs, the trees. We swapped memories as we finished off our meal. As we drove the main streets of the town, my siblings and I marveled at how spot on our memories were. We recognized the slide at the pool, the sign at the front of the park, the library, our schools, the ball fields. It was almost as if the town had been frozen for the past 16 years. It was so much the same, albeit a smidgen smaller (or had we gotten bigger?!). One must-see sight was our old house: 601 Sharpe Street. We could hardly believe how unchanged it was - the same soft blue paint, the same cement steps along with the same black handrail. The maple tree still stood proudly out front, only bigger and grander now. Floods of memories came to mind: the countless mud pies I made on the curb after it rained, my dad standing in the front yard throwing me as high as the roof so I could catch a glimpse of the backyard, sitting on a blanket in the front yard reading books with my mom, climbing the weeping willow in the backyard and singing for hours. It's where I learned how to walk, talk, and ride a bike. Some Friday nights we'd order a Bigfoot pizza from Pizza Hut, rent a movie and VCR (yes, that's right, we'd rent the VCR too!) from Hollywood Video, and settle in the basement for family night. I could go on and on...
A whole heck of a lot of life has happened since we left that house. I learned how to drive a car, went off to college, had my first career as a nurse, traveled the world. I've learned and experienced so many things, yet when I set foot on that soil, there's something in me that feels so right, so at home. It's as if I never left. I think that's what it's like when we spend time with God. We were created to be with Him, to relation with Him in perfect holy union. But things changed, we sinned and the world became a different place. We could no longer know God in the same way. But He had mercy on us and we were saved by the sacrifice of Jesus. We can now turn to God and relation with Him as His redeemed creation. It's like returning to how things were supposed to be. Nowhere else on earth feels quite as right as when I'm sitting with my Father. He is unchanged. We go through life's twists and turns, altering each step of the way. And then we rest in His presence. It's everything familiar, it's everything peaceful. It's home sweet home.
-Nelson Mandela
 |
| 601 Sharpe Street - my childhood home |
A whole heck of a lot of life has happened since we left that house. I learned how to drive a car, went off to college, had my first career as a nurse, traveled the world. I've learned and experienced so many things, yet when I set foot on that soil, there's something in me that feels so right, so at home. It's as if I never left. I think that's what it's like when we spend time with God. We were created to be with Him, to relation with Him in perfect holy union. But things changed, we sinned and the world became a different place. We could no longer know God in the same way. But He had mercy on us and we were saved by the sacrifice of Jesus. We can now turn to God and relation with Him as His redeemed creation. It's like returning to how things were supposed to be. Nowhere else on earth feels quite as right as when I'm sitting with my Father. He is unchanged. We go through life's twists and turns, altering each step of the way. And then we rest in His presence. It's everything familiar, it's everything peaceful. It's home sweet home.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Agua
I need to go to a pool. Or a lake. Or the ocean.
I'm craving water. Not like a glass of water to drink. And not a body of water for laying on a beach towel and tanning either. I want water I can submerse myself in. Be fully consumed by the stuff. I've had this recurring water theme for awhile now. I remember being struck by the profound implications of it a year ago while on a hike with my mom. (check out Peace Like a River) There was a stream flowing along most of the 8-mile trail. It hit me that streams are moving, constant; powerful at times, softly flowing at others. Never stagnant. Just like God and His love. This week I was reminded of an image I had a few years ago when I was on a run at Freedom Park in Charlotte. It was a cold autumn morning...and it was raining (my favorite time to run!). The park was vacant save for the geese and worms. I paused for awhile by the pond and gazed at the water. I had an image of me taking off my jacket and shoes and diving in. As I hit the water and was fully submersed, I was filled with the most incredible feeling of peace. It was as if I was surrounded by God's love, completely covered. If only I would jump in the water. But I didn't.
For some reason that image and all the feelings that went with it stuck with me. I was reminded of it on Thursday on another run, this time at Little Mulberry Park (newfound addiction, thanks to my friend Jenna). There's a pond there, too. And it got me thinking of water again. That feeling of diving in and being perfectly at peace - is that what it feels like to completely trust God? I've been working on trusting Him. Like really trusting Him. There are some things in my life going on right now that require me to give Him everything. To faithfully put one foot in front of the other and trust for no other reason than He is God. But that's reason enough.
This morning I was pondering what trusting my Father really looks like in my life and listening to the Passion Here For You album. David Crowder's "Sometimes" started playing. (listen to it here) The song is magical in the way that it builds instrumentally with Crowder's bold voice piercing through. It makes my heart beat faster and a little bit feel like it's being squeezed tighter and tighter. He says "It's Your love that we adore, it's like a sea without a shore, we're lost in You, we're lost in You." I'm thinking sheesh, this is just what's been on my mind. And then my favorite lines hit:
Don't be afraid, Don't be afraid
Just set your sail and risk the ocean
Show me grace
Let's risk the ocean
THAT is what I want! I want to risk the ocean...and rest in God's grace, trusting Him wholly to guide me. And you know what, I believe He will. Why? Because He promises this in His Word - it's all over! Jeremiah 29:11-13, Psalm 138:7-8, Psalm 34, Mark 11:22-26....I could go on and on. He just asks us to trust Him. And we have no reason not to. Hebrews 6:17-19 tells us "it is impossible for God to lie." Since all these promises are true, I have no reason not to trust. And Crowder says "don't be afraid"...but golly, that's easier said than done! It feels kind of scary...so I want to go to the ocean. I want to dive in, feel the cool water surround me, the peaceful feeling of gliding through its currents and imagine my Heavenly Father guiding me just the same.
I'm craving water. Not like a glass of water to drink. And not a body of water for laying on a beach towel and tanning either. I want water I can submerse myself in. Be fully consumed by the stuff. I've had this recurring water theme for awhile now. I remember being struck by the profound implications of it a year ago while on a hike with my mom. (check out Peace Like a River) There was a stream flowing along most of the 8-mile trail. It hit me that streams are moving, constant; powerful at times, softly flowing at others. Never stagnant. Just like God and His love. This week I was reminded of an image I had a few years ago when I was on a run at Freedom Park in Charlotte. It was a cold autumn morning...and it was raining (my favorite time to run!). The park was vacant save for the geese and worms. I paused for awhile by the pond and gazed at the water. I had an image of me taking off my jacket and shoes and diving in. As I hit the water and was fully submersed, I was filled with the most incredible feeling of peace. It was as if I was surrounded by God's love, completely covered. If only I would jump in the water. But I didn't.
For some reason that image and all the feelings that went with it stuck with me. I was reminded of it on Thursday on another run, this time at Little Mulberry Park (newfound addiction, thanks to my friend Jenna). There's a pond there, too. And it got me thinking of water again. That feeling of diving in and being perfectly at peace - is that what it feels like to completely trust God? I've been working on trusting Him. Like really trusting Him. There are some things in my life going on right now that require me to give Him everything. To faithfully put one foot in front of the other and trust for no other reason than He is God. But that's reason enough.
This morning I was pondering what trusting my Father really looks like in my life and listening to the Passion Here For You album. David Crowder's "Sometimes" started playing. (listen to it here) The song is magical in the way that it builds instrumentally with Crowder's bold voice piercing through. It makes my heart beat faster and a little bit feel like it's being squeezed tighter and tighter. He says "It's Your love that we adore, it's like a sea without a shore, we're lost in You, we're lost in You." I'm thinking sheesh, this is just what's been on my mind. And then my favorite lines hit:
Don't be afraid, Don't be afraid
Just set your sail and risk the ocean
Show me grace
Let's risk the ocean
THAT is what I want! I want to risk the ocean...and rest in God's grace, trusting Him wholly to guide me. And you know what, I believe He will. Why? Because He promises this in His Word - it's all over! Jeremiah 29:11-13, Psalm 138:7-8, Psalm 34, Mark 11:22-26....I could go on and on. He just asks us to trust Him. And we have no reason not to. Hebrews 6:17-19 tells us "it is impossible for God to lie." Since all these promises are true, I have no reason not to trust. And Crowder says "don't be afraid"...but golly, that's easier said than done! It feels kind of scary...so I want to go to the ocean. I want to dive in, feel the cool water surround me, the peaceful feeling of gliding through its currents and imagine my Heavenly Father guiding me just the same.
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