What It Doesn't Mean (VII/XII)

This spot in life might not be where you want to be. The day in day out might look so far from what you imagined 5, 10, 15 years ago. But that doesn't change the fact that you are woman. With an identity and a mission. It just might not be the mission you dreamed of.

Yet.

But it's still your mission.

If this is you, you're not the only one who's doing something they didn't think they would. I'm working 12-hour shifts as a staff nurse in Labor and Delivery at a Level II hospital. (Whoever thought delivering babies well into your 20's as a single woman was a good idea? Is it sadistic or just plain sad to be helping everybody else welcome their new little bundles of joy into the world?) Oftentimes I still wonder why I'm not pulling organic hand-kneaded buns out of the oven instead of the wriggling crying ones I see every day. Oh, working in a bakery would be so much less stressful (and the fulfillment of a dream...read about it here and here). And yet God made it clear this was my assignment (more on that decision here).

As you can tell, my current place in life isn't exactly where I imagined I would be. In my head, it actually looked very different. In fact, there are almost daily experiences that make me want to throw a temper tantrum on the floor like a spoiled child. But I don't. It won't do me any good. It would undoubtedly be a humorous scene for those around me, but in reality I would be quite foolish. Can you imagine? A grown adult, screaming and kicking her legs, writhing mad at the truth that she isn't getting her way and she isn't the only thing existing on the earth? What a sight! It's a sight I've pondered making into a reality all too often. But instead of that victim mentality, I am asked to step up into the full weight of my identity (defined in this previous post). This looks nothing like a temper tantrum. Instead it is a call to arms, an invitation to stand and live in the reality that there is more to life than me. Let's be honest, the women of the Bible are anything but selfish, sinful sure, but far from selfish. Far from acquiescent female creatures who do what the world tells them. (If you need proof and even if you don't, read about these incredible women: Ruth, Leah and Rachel, Esther, Tamar, Sarah, Anna, Mary...)

Another woman in history stands out as unselfish. Sojourner Truth, the African-American abolitionist and women's rights activist, "wasn't protesting chivalry toward women because she scorned gentility or disparaged the finer things in life. She was, however, challenging popular notions of what it means to be a woman. Her objectives were borne from a deep inner conviction that in this broken world being a woman often means doing hard things, straining your muscles, and tackling messy problems that aren't listed in books about true femininity and may actually be repudiated by them. Sometimes God even calls us to do things that violate our personal list of what we consider 'appropriate activities' for ourselves as women, but which are nevertheless a woman's calling. Sojourner Truth was an ezer...she unflinchingly entered any battle Jesus summoned her to fight and did so with every ounce of womanly strength she possessed. She believed embracing the challenges God presents can never diminish our womanhood or femininity, no matter what others (or our own inner voice) may tell us." (1)

So, apparently, our identity doesn't mean we can throw temper tantrums.

"Sometimes the battles before us aren't what we expected to be doing with our lives, much less what we expected to be doing as women. The backbreaking work Ruth did all day was hardly the feminine occupation she envisioned for herself. But she was doing God's work - preparation, dirty and broken fingernails, rough surrounding, and all - and she did it with all of her might, her resources, and her wit. Ultimately, her bold initiatives bless God's people, challenging them to contemplate what it means to live as Yahweh's people, and Ruth herself becomes a powerful catalyst for change." (2)

Blessing God's people? A catalyst for change? Those are certainly things worthy of my striving.

"God gave us Ruth and Sojourner Truth to remind us that courage, boldness, and godly leadership are important feminine attributes when it comes to living for God. When we swim upstream against culture; use our voices to speak the truth; advocate stubbornly for others; and sweat, toil, and strategize to advance God's kingdom on earth, we are doing woman's work." (3)

Here's to a life of sweat, toil, and strategizing. Take the focus off myself. Serve others. This life isn't about me anyway. And one of the best parts? We never have to do it alone. If there's anything I've learned in community, it is the joy of living life together, striving to seek His will in our lives, together. It's a beautiful thing.


Songs that have met me on this stage of the journey:
My Desire - Jeremy Camp
Marchin On - OneRepublic


1. Carolyn Custis James, The Gospel of Ruth (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2008), p.91-2.
2. Ibid., 105.
3. Ibid., 105-106.