First, a little bit about me and my story, my years of Singlehood...
I read Joshua Harris' I Kissed Dating Goodbye as a 13-year-old. Some might argue that's when my problems began. Whether that's true or not, I will never know. What it did do was solidify in me a commitment I wasn't willing to budge on. (I was also in a Bible study at the time: Kay Arthur's Someday, A Marriage Without Regrets...interesting start to my teen years...) Harris' book helped shape my standards and gave me confidence to keep them. Is it the end all be all book for dating? Most likely not (and believe me, I've read more than a few). But for me at that age, it was certainly beneficial. Although, it did prompt my mom to ask the question, "How are you going to get married if you kiss dating goodbye?" If I had to be honest, I think she still blames that book for me being single today. This series is not a dating guide - I think you might want to consult someone who has successfully navigated those waters...ie. not me! I have spent all of my life (save 9 months) as a single person. Several dates. One 9-month relationship. And no, it wasn't horrible - it didn't scar me from ever being in a relationship again. It was good. I learned a lot from it. And I'm grateful for it. I'm just saying I'm not the one to seek advice from on dating.
One of my mentors actually said to me, in those early years of processing what this would look like, "Erin, you'd better get a cat." Upon my inquiry as to why, she responded with, "Because you've got years of loneliness ahead of you and you're gonna need a companion on those lonely Friday nights." It was a humorous way of encouraging me. She wasn't trying to tell me which way was right or wrong. But she did affirm what God was speaking to me. She encouraged my best friend and me by showing us the silver goblets from her wedding. Shiny beautiful pure silver goblets. She said we were the goblets. Precious women that were worth waiting and fighting for. I cannot tell you how many times over the years I have remembered those stinking goblets and wanted them to maybe be a little less precious. Only because it's been a long wait. And continues to be. Yet, I find myself continually grateful for those words of encouragement spoken so many years ago that are still written on my heart.
Fast forward to high school. I remember listening to Rebecca St. James' "Wait For Me" and declaring it my anthem (anyone else???). I've kept up with her a bit through the years and respected her vocal stance on abstinence and her commitment to prayerfully wait on the right one. I had the joy of belting that anthem at her concert one Valentine's Day in college. (I was probably also thinking something along the lines of Wouldn't it be cool if my future-husband was here right now in this very same arena belting this song and thinking about me? Wow, I really was a dork. And if you're a guy who's claimed this as your anthem, I salute you. But you might want to instead consider a few songs with a bit more testosterone in their lyrical prose: Bebo Norman's "Perhaps She'll Wait" or Michael Buble's "Haven't Met You Yet" or even Daniel Bedingfield's "Right Girl" - this one in particular would win you serious props.) But I've always thought Man, I really want Rebecca - yes, we're on a first name basis - to find her husband. I mean, I waited years. But she's waited yeeeears. The other day, I googled it - I joyfully discovered that her years of waiting are over - she joined the ranks of matrimonious living in 2011! Read about it here. Whew, now I can finally get married - I could hardly justify getting hitched before Rebecca St. James.
You'll be happy to know I never did buy a cat so I could sit at home and stroke its back. And if you, too, read about kissing dating goodbye and are curious about its jinxing power, fear not. My good friend who read it with me is now married and expecting her second child. So what did I do instead of mindless cat-stroking? I dove headfirst into friendship, community, fellowship, serving, and traveling. Let me tell you, it has been one mighty fun road. I have memories and stories galore. It has been lonely as heck at times. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. Seriously, I am grateful for each step of the way. They have helped refine me by teaching me more about myself, more about the way the world works, more about my mission here in this world. And yes, it has also taught me about Singlehood. More than I ever wanted to know.
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