A Lesson From My Chiropractor

I've been going to the chiropractor for a few months now in an effort to fix a kink in my back that first appeared last November. X-rays showed a perfectly aligned spine, so the pain was determined to be muscular. Good news, for sure. Except that the tight knot in my left middle back continued to be a nuisance, not tied to any specific activity that I could figure out. It would just appear. I noticed it every morning as I merged on the interstate - my range of motion was significantly decreased because of the stiffness and pain around this area.

After several weeks of treatment, I went in one Monday morning after waking up with the worst pain I'd had since the initial event in November. As my doctor and I discussed reasons for the problem, we ruled out just about everything. Then he asked me how I sleep. I demonstrated the twist of half-stomach, half-side, one leg hiked up, one arm up under the pillow contortion that for whatever reason is the most comfortable way for me to fall asleep.

Uh-oh.

We hit on something here. He showed me exactly how that motion, the very one I spend 6-8 hours in every night, is the culprit for the horrible kink. Seriously?! That's it?! Well, that's an easy fix.

Or is it?

We talked about healthy positions for my body to spend a night's sleep. He told me to try it out for a week. I soon discovered this was harder than I thought. My body wasn't very happy about falling asleep in a position other than the trained uber-comfortable one. Normally I fall asleep within a minute or two of laying down. But in this new position, I'd lay there awake for a half-hour just waiting for my body to surrender. It finally would. But I would wake a few hours later to find myself in a twisted knot again. Reposition. Fall back asleep.

It was a frustrating sleepless week.

For some reason, when I'm most tired - which is generally every night I fall into bed - I slip into this position without thought. It's comfortable in the beginning, but 8 hours later, my back is oh-so-unhappy.

There is something to be said for muscle memory. I have been spending the past few weeks retraining my body to sleep in ways that are beneficial to my spine. It's taken work, but I am sleeping well again. I notice, however, that those nights I'm more tired than normal, my body fights to go back to its old habit.

I think this is so similar to our spiritual life. The Holy Spirit convicts us of some area of our life we need to get into submission. We train, fail, train again. It takes time and repetition. We so easily slip back into old habits and patterns, having to mentally refocus to get back on track. And when we are most weary, stressed, or stretched is when we are likely to slip the quickest.

It was a reminder to me to be rested. In every sense of the word. In sleep. In time with God. In eating. It's a set-up for success.

And as those habits become long-lost memories, I can move forward into new growth. It's like my sleeping. Two weeks later and I'm not fighting as hard to sleep correctly. It comes more naturally.

I'm experiencing the same thing with running. I've recently begun trying a new running technique - moving from heel-toe to forefoot running. It feels better. But it takes work. It utilizes different muscles. And when I begin to get tired, I revert back to my old patterns. I have to refocus and shift my repetition.

Here's an example of how and why: check out this video.

It won't be like that forever, but for now it takes work. Eventually it will come naturally. As will the things God is growing in me. They take work now, and I have to fight harder when I'm weary, but eventually they will be a part of me like never before.

Run the race with perseverance.

It's the path to progression. The path to health. The path of deep and meaningful.

Perspective

When I think of the word "perspectives," it's often paired with "course," as in a college course. Or a course like this one, that someday my friend and I would love to take. But this past month, I feel as if my life has been showing me perspective in its own way, without the use of a college classroom or textbook.

One example is a recent 4-day mission trip to downtown Atlanta with middle schoolers from my church. Seeing Christ through their eyes as we served "the least of these" together was absolutely humbling and incredibly encouraging.

Walking into a massive room that sleeps over 400 homeless men...perspective.

24 of us cleaning every single bed...perspective.

Observing swarms of refugee mothers impulsively grabbing freely given clothes so their child won't be naked...perspective.

Our students standing - of their own free will - on one of the darkest, busiest intersections in Atlanta, praying over the people, the city, while joyously holding signs of who God is to them...perspective.

I was reminded of perspective again this past Saturday as my roommate and I caught a few minutes of "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" on TV. Every person born in the late 70's or early 80's remembers this classic. We've all wondered what it would be like to fall into a flower and have pollen cling to us like snow, to ride an ant guided buy a massive chunk of cookie attached to a stick, or to swim in a bowl of Cheerios and milk, fearful of being eaten by your dad.

What would it be like to be that minuscule? That trivial? This movie popped in my head a couple weeks ago on a hiking trail. As I walked, I wondered how many bugs existed in this park alone. How many leaves shook when the wind blew? How many people had walked this path before, and yet I was the only one there in that moment? I often think thoughts like this when I'm in nature. Maybe that's why it's my favorite spiritual getaway. It offers perspective easily missed in our fast-paced society of power and control. It all comes to a dead halt in this passage:

2 Corinthians 4: 6, NASB

For God, who said, "Light shall shine out of darkness," is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

Did you get that? This is the God who said "Let there be light"...and there was light. That One. The Creator of the Universe, the One who formed the waters and the earth...

I think of this every time I run at this park. How couldn't you with a view like this?

This very same God is the One who shines in my heart. Wow, is that ever perspective.

And how about the concept of time? If the collision of my timing with God's doesn't put me in my place, I don't know what does. This past week I re-listened to KQ's message on the work of waiting from last November. I'm experiencing this now in very real ways. Peter explains it this way:

2 Peter 3:8-9, NASB

But do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.

KQ said, "God is always working. Therefore, you can live with patient trust...Waiting time isn't wasted time, it's working time. God is doing a work in you."

He also quoted Ben Patterson in saying, "The work God wants to do in us while we wait is at least as important as what we're waiting for."

Now that's, mmm-mm, good.

How have you experienced perspective in your own life? Are you waiting for things that require an increased dose of faith, trust, or hope? Or are you simply in a place of basking in the truth of the God of the Universe shining in your heart?

As Deep Calls to Deep

If there was ever a post I wanted to be so God's words and not mine, it's this one. Because I fear nothing I write will ever give Him adequate glory. The glory He deserves. The glory He is.

Just know that whatever is conveyed here, it was felt a million times more deeply. And my prayer is that you feel it just the same, in your own relationship with our Lord.

This past Monday I had the opportunity to go on a short hike nearby - an absolutely beautiful day to be in nature. I was reflecting on God's creation, His love, His provision. How He has been teaching and guiding me these past few months. I was reminded of this post, penned last October. Words written at a time when I needed to write (and believe) them for me just as much as for anyone else. A time when I knew God loved me, but I questioned whether I mattered. My answer was to seek Him. In every situation, every emotion or hurt, to just seek Him.

To seek something is an act. There is nothing passive about seeking. It's a verb. Defined as "an attempt to find (something), attempt or desire to obtain or achieve (something), ask for (something) from someone, seek someone/something out."

So I did. A lot. With time and energy. Study and contemplation. Prayer and a listening ear. Never perfectly, but with an honest desire.

And boy, let me tell you, was He ever found! All along the journey there have been new depths and treasures. Not always easy, oftentimes painful, but ever so joyful.

As I walked along the trail on Monday my heart was spilling over with God's love. I came to a point on the trail where some rocks were nestled amidst a brook, surrounded by trees with glimmers of sunlight peeking through. It was absolutely picturesque. And in that moment on that day, it was just for me.

I settled into a spot on the cool rocks and contemplated. Taking out my notebook and pen, I scrawled these words:

"I feel so incredibly loved. I don't even have words for what my heart feels in this moment. These past few weeks, months. My God, my Father, is wooing me. All of me. Mind, spirit, body. I sense Him in every part of me. Filling me with peace. Speaking words of love to me. He is opening my eyes to His glory all around me. It is a beautiful gift."

Moments later, I spotted a deer nearby munching on greenery. It reminded me of this verse...

Psalm 42: 1-2, 7 (NIV)
As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God...Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.

That's what it's like when you encounter the Living God. His waves and breakers sweep over you in such a way you have no hope, and yet you have every hope. No hope of escaping His loving embrace.

It brings these words to mind...

If you leave I'll still be close to you
When all your fears rain down
I'll take you back a thousand times again
I'll take you as My own
I would sing you songs of innocence
'Til the light of morning comes
'Til the rays of gold and honey cover you
In the sweetness of the dawn
(Future of Forestry's "Slow Your Breath Down")

No hope of escape. And yet every hope in the world. Hope of a future. Hope of the glory of God.

Hope that does not disappoint.

Will you soak in the rays of gold and honey, meant just for you?

Will you seek Him, as a deer panting for streams of water?

Will you welcome His waves and breakers as His deep love sweeps over you?

Warning Signs

The other day I was driving to an appointment. As usual, I left just enough driving time to get there. Driving up to turn onto a familiar road, a big orange "Detour" sign stared me in the face.

Hmm.

I proceeded.

The next big orange sign said "Road Closed Ahead."

Here I was faced with a choice. (Or at least I thought I was.)

I chose to continue on the path of the (supposedly) closed road. As if an orange sign wasn't enough.

But the road has never been closed before. Why would it be now? I knew there was construction on a nearby road, but not this one. I was just there and everything was fine.

So I barreled on ahead, casting furtive glances at my dashboard clock as time ticked on, feeling my blood pressure rise. I began to speed up as I mentally counted the stop lights left until I reached my destination.

So here I was, racing full steam ahead...on a (supposedly) closed road.

At this point, I would like to interject and say I hope I'm not the only one who would do/has done this. But in all reality, I probably am. And probably should be.

Anyway, so back to wildly spinning tires and my stupidity. I would periodically stretch my neck to see if I could actually lay eyes on anything resembling a closed road. Everything looked like it always had, save the periodic large orange sign stating "Road Closed in Such-and-Such feet." Those were obviously new to the scenery.

But apparently not enough to deter my current confidence in achieving a through route on said (supposedly) closed road.

I thought I'd just made it, one more curve and I'd be turning onto another road, which I assumed would also not be closed.

Then lo and behold, the road...was...closed.

At the very end, right where I needed to turn. There was about a ten foot stretch where no road existed. Literally, there was no road.

Welp. Any good person would chuckle, turn around and patiently take another route to her destination, right?

Wrong.

I promptly did a three-point turn in the non-closed part of the road and proceeded to race aaaaall the way back to the spot in which I first saw the "Detour" sign. And I was fuming. At myself. At the construction workers. At the stupid over-sized sign that tried to warn me.

I didn't feel very wise in that moment. Nor did I feel very proud as I picked up my phone and called the office to notify them of my delay.

As my swollen pride quickly turned into sheepish humility, I was reminded of words I had read not even hours before from the 21st chapter of Proverbs (NIV):

The proud and arrogant man - "Mocker" is his name; he behaves with overweening pride." (vs. 24)

and...

There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord. (vs. 30)

Ouch.

I was thankful no one but God had seen my folly. I am (gratefully) living proof He gives countless second chances. (Check out Rend Collective Experiment's "Second Chance")

And so today, when I was headed to the very same office, I chose not to head down the (actually) closed road.

And it got me thinking, how often in my life or daily routine do I do something I've done a million times before just because I've done it a million times before and all the while ignore the warning signs that maybe, just maybe I'm supposed to do something different???

His Reflection

I saw the most beautiful full moon at 6 AM on Friday as I was driving to work.

It was incredibly huge and bright. But the moon itself wasn't light. It was merely reflecting light from the sun (elementary school science class did teach me something). It was doing a really great job of this on Friday.

Ironically I was listening to a song called "Your Glory" by All Sons & Daughters (check out this incredible video!). Here are the lyrics:

My life is Yours
My hope is in You only
My heart You hold
'Cause You made this sinner holy
Holy, holy

chorus:
Your glory is so beautiful
I fall onto my knees in awe
And the heartbeat of my life
Is to worship in Your light
'Cause Your glory is so beautiful
Your glory is so beautiful

bridge:
glory, glory
Hallelujah
Jesus, You are good

I put it on repeat, loving the line "and the heartbeat of my life is to worship in your light."

We reflect God's light. Just like the moon reflects the sun.

It's what Jesus did. In Colossians 1:15 Paul tells us "He is the image of the invisible God." In their Inductive Study book That I May Know Him, Kay Arthur and David Lawson write, "The Greek word image is eikon. It was used in classical Greek literature to describe the sun reflecting in a pool of water. In other words, Christ mirrors God for us. In Greek thought, the image shared reality with what it represents."

I thanked God for the physical display of beauty before me that morning, reminding me of who I am in Him.

I have life and light through Christ.

Colossians 3:1-4

Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is...for you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you will also be revealed with Him in glory."

On Friday the moon seemed to be perfectly reflecting the sun's light. What a beautiful way of pulling together His scripture with the sweet lyrics of the song. Something only my Father could do.

Because His glory is so beautiful.

Silence Is Golden

It's been awhile, I know.

I'm not sure if anyone missed reading, but I sure missed writing.

I didn't exactly plan it that way, but sometimes when there is so much happening in a brain and heart, it can be hard to know how to express it. Truth is, there is always something running through my mind. It's often hard for this little internal processor to shut things down, so if you thought the silence was for lack of mental angst, you'd be sorely mistaken.

It may take months or even years for the last 6 months' growth to make it to the screen. What have I been up to, you might ask?

It's best summed up in Andy Stanley's sermon from a series You'll Be Glad You Did entitled "Part 2: Get Out, Stay Out, & Clean Out." I highly recommend taking a listen, especially for all you singles out there. He spells out three things to focus on: get out of debt, stay out of bed, clean out your (emotional) closet.

My roommate passed along the sermon at a time when the encouragement was paramount. It'd been about a month and a half into the new year, the year of "hope infusion."

I'd been working on some things, particularly getting out of debt and cleaning out my closet, investing a lot of time and money, even more head and heart. A little bit struggling to maintain an attitude that it was OK to be in a place that felt incredibly selfish. And Andy's words hit me like a direct line from God saying "Daughter, you are exactly where you need to be. Keep walking, keep sowing, keep trusting."

The message was so encouraging, in fact, that I proceeded to listen to it two more times. Just to reinforce what I'd heard. Proof it's easier for me to pour out than to get poured into...but I'm learning a healthier balance of that in my life.

After a strong kick in the butt from this lovely lady (who is now DEBT-FREE!), and a ridiculously strong God-prompt in January, I enrolled in a 9-week course about finances. Ugh. It's not at all what I wanted to do. Several months ago I recall a conversation with another debt-free friend, carrying on as if my student loans were no big deal, that they weren't truly impacting my life, and would be paid off "someday." Straight up lies I told myself in my ignorance. I can say with gratefulness, this past Monday my roommate and I graduated from Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University!

And I'm gonna brag just a little bit and say we weren't just any students. We were stellar. No half-in, half-out for us. It was full on. Budget forms, and homework, and reading, and insurance appointments, and phone calls, and more budgeting, and cash envelopes, and class time, and more phone calls, and more budgeting, whew! A whole whopping heck of a lot of learning. And by the grace of God, I hope to be debt-free by the time I turn 30.

I absolutely cannot wait for the day. These student loans will no longer own me. Jesus died for our freedom. So I am going to live free. I'm currently a slave...

But I'm now a dangerous slave with knowledge and gazelle intensity. Plotting her course to true freedom. Covered in His armor, offensively walking in grace with Christ in this world.

Absolutely humbling.

And absolutely grateful that He is "the hand that reaches down to save."

Check out All Sons & Daughters' "I Am Set Free" and while you're at it, go ahead and let the lyrics get stuck in your head. I guarantee your attitude will change as the Scriptural truth sinks deeper with each step you take.

May He continue to mend our lives with His holy fire.

The Planting of the Lord

I love seeing the Botanic Gardens in different cities and countries I visit. One of my favorites was in Christchurch, NZ (read more about why I loved it here). They're always filled with such color, such beauty, such life.

Our church has been talking a lot about gardening. Cultivating, sowing seeds, reaping the harvest in God's time so that it can reproduce 30-, 60-, 100-fold.

It's becoming a theme in my life so far this year. Deepening spiritual roots, pulling weeds that aren't truth, marinating in His Word so that His voice becomes louder than all others. I love it when I'm reading and happen across more words that tie the theme together. Words like "plant," "grow," "sow," "garden."

God mentions them all over...

Psalm 144:12-13, NASB
Let our sons in their youth be as grown-up plants, and our daughters as corner pillars fashioned as for a palace; let our garners be full, furnishing every kind of produce, and our flocks bring forth thousands and ten thousands in our fields.

Isaiah 58:10-11, NASB
And if you give yourself to the hungry, and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness, and your gloom will become like midday. And the Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones; and you will be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.

Isaiah 61:1, 3, 11, NASB
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives, and freedom to prisoners...so they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified...For as the earth brings forth its sprouts, and as a garden causes the things sown in it to spring up, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring up before all the nations.

Galatians 6:7-9, NASB
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh shall from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit shall from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary."

What good news! Oh to be an oak of righteousness in a well-watered garden!

But sometimes the growing is hard. Sometimes we don't know where the growing is leading. Sometimes we ask the dreadful "why" questions. Why would God have me grow this way? Why does it take this much time? Or even, "How long, oh Lord?"

I find myself often asking some of those questions. But this morning while worshiping at church He reminded me of something hugely powerful.

He is growing in me the very things I will need for whatever He asks of me in the future. 

It may not make sense now. I may not be able to see how or why this season could be useful. But I trust in Him, I trust in His heart to be growing in me the character I need, equipping me with the truths I need to live out His will.

Because the truth is, I don't know what the future holds. I might think I know what's good for me. I can beat my heat against a wall and wonder why I am in this season. But God knows what's best. He invites me to sit at His feet, eager to learn from my Teacher, tuning my ear to the Holy Spirit, trusting in His sovereignty. I don't know what the next five seconds of my life might look like. Yet God knows my every day from now through eternity.

He knows exactly what I need. What a reason to trust Him!