Letter To Self.

Four years ago today I departed on one of the greatest adventures of my life. It inspired the start of this blog, actually.

Read about the start here and here.

The Milford Track, New Zealand

Bondi-Bronte beach walk, Sydney

Children's Shelter of Cebu, Philippines

It was a 5-month journey around the world. My self-proclaimed "honeymoon with God." A time to disconnect with the busyness of life and reconnect with soul.

Experience.

Learn.

Be.

On that journey, I wrote a letter to myself. I re-read it every once in awhile. It's a great heart check. And a great reminder for what that trip taught me. To commemorate the four years, I'm sharing that letter...


Dear Self,

Keep it simple.  Really simple.  God has brought you to NZ - a beautiful land - into His creation, far from home, far from loved ones, to show you some things.  

First off, nothing is to take precedence over time spent in prayer and in His Word.  On this trip, you have seen Scripture come to life.  Your love for Scripture has been kindled, or rekindled.  You pour over the words with an open heart, memorizing, underlining, making references, meditating.  Ultimately, longing to have these words written on your heart and incorporated in your life.  God’s word is chocked full of encouragement, instruction, warnings, truths, reminders.  It is the way you should live.  Continue to pour over it, daily, recognizing your need, your weakness, your willingness to submit and give your life to the One who gives life, the One who’s power is perfected in weakness.  You are nothing without Him.  He will not fail.  He will not forget you.  Your name is written in heaven, He knows the movements of your body, the thoughts in your mind, and He loves you more than you will ever be able to understand.  Let Him do His work in you.  

Secondly, remember what it feels like to be with the Lord.  To sit in His presence, completely known, surrendered, with a heart full of praise and hope.  Live each day like this - sitting with Him.  Praying without ceasing.  Keeping open the line of communication, always seeking and being joyful.  Never before in your life have you known Scripture as you do now.  Never before have you had the opportunity to spend each day with Him as you do now - away from a job, away from commitments.  Never before have you been filled and blessed in such a way.  Remember this blessing.  Take it with you as you enter back into the States, back into a life with a job, with a family, with friends.  Not many get an opportunity like this.  Don’t go spouting to everyone about how much of a changed person you are - they wouldn’t applaud anyway.  Just keep your eyes on Him and stay humble.  Live the change.  Be the change.  Give God the glory.

Early on in this trip you became aware of your increasing love for your family (or became aware of the love that was always there, it just needed uncovering).  You have always been part of a strong family, you’ve had years of creating memories to be cherished.  You’ve also had years of brokenness that are in need of restoration.  Be aware of this.  Be open to the restoration - don’t fight it, fight for it.  Rebuild these relationships, but also know they won’t ever be what they were...much has changed, we have grown and been stretched...the relationships can’t go back to what they were, they can only move forward and be greater than they were.  Speak honesty with your family.  Be kind and courageous.  Let them know what they mean to you.  God brought you around the world and revealed to you how much they mean to you.  He showed you you were so close to being home, yet so far.  You were unwilling to make a move for the pride within yourself.  You once said, “I’d love to live in Atlanta, but I don’t want to be the spinster little sister that follows her sister’s family around.”  Oh, how prideful you were!  Unwilling to see how God could use that move.  He brought you away from it all so you would see.  Remember the clarity you see now, the tangibleness of the love you feel, the vibrancy of the memories you see, the hope of good times yet to be had.  Be grateful He allowed you this opportunity to make things right.  To make the move after you’ve been humbled.  What a gift!

You also have the opportunity to make things right financially.  You have lived in fear of finances for as long as you can remember.  You have never had confidence to make a budget and stick with it, you have never had confidence to tithe regularly, you have never liked making big purchases, even if you had the money, for fear of needing that spent money elsewhere.  You have tried to make wise decisions based in this fear, but you cannot be successful continuing to do so.  You have freedom from fear in Christ - the seed is deep, but uproot it (and watch for it in other areas of your life)!  Replace the fear with faith.  It will take work, but delve in, study and learn how to manage this according to the Lord’s Word, and persevere.  He is allowing you to start afresh.  Do it right this time.

Lastly, don’t make decisions in this world because it’s what the world expects.  God is unexpected.  He does not operate of this world and doesn’t want us to either.  Doing something just because it’s what is “normal,” expected, or the way things have always been is stupid.  It’s wasting a life that could be aligned with God’s will.  Your home is in heaven, you are only here temporarily.  He will do things and ask you to do things in your life that don’t make sense to the world or sometimes even to you, but hold unswervingly to the hope we profess.  Keep the faith.  Fight the good fight.  Know that He has a purpose for you, a plan to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope, and a future.  He who promised is faithful.  

And remember, keep it simple.

Love yourself so that you can love others,

Erin Suzanne Cooper <><